Sunday, 22 March 2015
I was available and, despite it being over 2 hours away, I quickly packed a suitcase, loaded up the PA system and headed out the door once I had confirmed with the client what they wanted.This is often essential with last minute bookings as they often need to compromise on their expectations. In this case although they had been looking for a live act they were happy to settle for my comedy mime routines and live patter.
I rushed down the motorway and got to the venue only a little late. The organiser was waiting outside, grateful that I had actually turned up. A small army of bar staff were co-opted into unloading the car while I found a legal parking spot.
Once inside I set up my sound system and retired to the lovely room they had allocated to me as a dressing room. The organiser came to see me, paid me (a strict requirement for this agent's jobs) and we agreed a schedule for the evening.
As I was running a little late I hurried to get ready for 9.45pm, the agreed start time. At 9.45 the organiser came in and said they were running 5 mins late. I was happy with that and she returned a few minutes later to say they were ready for me.
I made my entrance and went through my first two numbers to enthusiastic applause. Then it went wrong and I am blowed if I can make out why!
The most important rule when working a hen night with an actual bride-to-be present is to remember it is their night and they need to be centre of attention. Some gentle ribbing is obligatory. I ploughed straight in with some cheeky remarks about how flat her chest was and next thing I am beckoned to one side by the organiser and told to stop, leave the room and go home as the bride was upset!
Now the only thing I can think of is that the hen was sensitive about her breast size or had some sort of medical condition. In either case the organiser should have warned me that it was a delicate subject. I am not a mind reader!