Monday, 14 November 2011

I knew there was a good reason I hate children

I have been unable to work for the last 4 weeks.
I had an accident and couldn't drive
I came off my bicycle and broke my hand. In 7 places.
I was cycling along a path in the park when I espied a 3 yr old girl on a pink bike coming towards me.
Being a considerate soul I moved over to the opposite side of the path to let her ride by unobstructed.

All well and good. Here's where it went tits up!

As we drew level this Damien-like spawn of Satan suddenly turned in front of me and, pedalling furiously, caused me, Billie Whitelaw-like, to unbalance and go base over apex over the handlebars onto the grass. As I landed heavily on my left hand I heard the crack of splintering bones.
An hour in hospital and I re-emerged into the warm evening with plaster up to my elbow and a hand the size of a sledge hammer!
However, the good news is the plaster comes off tomorrow and I will be back working soon after
I stll hate children!

Update 31/1/12 - My hand, though still undergoing weekly physiotherapy, is good enough for me to work. I can drive so that is all I need. I apologise to all the venues I had to cancel during October and November.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Missing the blooming obvious!

Somethings leave me speechless (or they should do!)
Today I was walking in town, in civvies (i.e. no frock. Well, a face of makeup is wasted on the Tesco checkout girl!). As I went past a little stationers I noticed a pigeon in the window.
I know, I know, a bird in the bush etc.
Now this pigeon had, somehow, got into the shop and was trapped in the window display.
As I stopped to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me, the owner came out, saw I was taking an interest and uttered the immortal words 'Are you into birds?'
Well, my flabber has never been so gasted! Surely, after all these years, I can't possibly look straight. Or maybe he thought I looked like a lesbian
Whichever, I was affronted and minced off as camply as I could!