Monday, 23 February 2015


When I am working, during the break, I use the time productively to chat to my punters. I can pick up all sorts of things both about the audience and about women in general.
While the closest I have ever got to being inside a woman was a trip up the Stature of Liberty on a visit to New York, I have garnered an awful lot of inside knowledge from many chats in various beer gardens and smoking shelters at Ladies' Nights. Maybe a few straight guys should try listening to woman. They will definitely learn a few things to their advantage.
At a gig last night a woman asked me how I knew so much about girls and their feelings? Did I study them? Was I secretly straight?
Nope. I just listen.
I get told so many secrets. Some of them I wouldn't dream of repeating but most I regurgitate on stage night after night LOL
I had the gory details of botched boob jobs, half assed hysterectomies and butchered birth canals related to me in all their horror while I share a small sherry and a Lambert & Butler with an overweight Sharon in a very tight size 14 Primark special. My job is so glamorous!

Monday, 9 February 2015

The aftermath

Well, it is all over and done with.
How did it all go?
The theatre was half full, so that wasn't so bad
The technology all worked. We had a slight issue about cuing up the various elements on the computer but nothing that was detrimental to the show
The one thing that didn't go to plan, well two things actually, were the two new mime routines. Basically I ballsed them up! This was, I think, because I had spent all my rehearsal time perfecting my singing routines and had neglected the new mime numbers.
The stand-up went well despite, or maybe because of, a rowdy beer-filled audience and the improv, which is always a feature of my cabaret act, was a success.
So, on balance, the entire experience has been enriching (I learned to sing and made a whole load of new costumes) while teaching me a lesson (don't focus too exclusively on one aspect of new material).
What I will be taking forward is a determination to learn enough songs to be able to perform a completely live cabaret routine, a full hour, without mime numbers and without costume changes by the summer.
Big thanks to Upstairs at The Western and Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival for spurring me.

Friday, 6 February 2015

Two days to go!

Well, this is it. The final furlong (God that dates me!). The last of the costumes are finished, my last full day of rehearsals (I have lots on tomorrow, including a final singing lesson and a theatre visit in the evening) and all I have to do is sort out everything ready to be packed up on Saturday morning.
At 2pm Saturday I have a final full technical run through of the show just to make sure all my back-up team know what they are doing and ensuring that I can do all the costume changes in time. It also gives us an opportunity to ship all the costumes and props into the theatre while there are no customers around. It is no easy task transporting a trunk full of costumes, several pairs of shoes, a myriad of wigs and a box of props surreptitiously! LOL
Then it's back home for a rest and a final run through of my songs before getting back to the theatre for 9.30pm, two hours before curtain up.
Mine is not the only show on that night and the previous stand-up performance isn't due to end before 10.30 so I will be able to hear them from the dressing room (aka the kitchen). Time will tell whether this will soothe my nerves or make them worse.
Everybody at Upstairs at The Western have been incredibly supportive ever since the idea of me performing as part of Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival was first mooted back in last summer. So if it all goes tits up, it's their fault! LOL

Monday, 2 February 2015

Five days and counting

Five days to go and the pressure is building
Today I had a very productive meeting with Gary, the artistic director at Upstairs @ The Western. His input was invaluable as we ran through the technical requirements for my show. Initially the meeting was simply to check that the computer I was using would play OK through the in-house system and that the graphics would look good for the audience.
One thing we changed, and it was only because we had the time to discuss various options, was that we did away with the free-standing screen onstage and used the drop down one on the back wall. It gives a very much cleaner image and, with some backstage juggling, does away with the need for an extended changing area beside the stage.
We also came up with a workable method of videoing the show for 'posterity'. Something I was keen on doing for both my own benefit and for those friends who can't make it on the night.
So, it's back to my sewing machine to finish off the last costume, more rehearsals and a final voice lesson with my wonderfully inspiring voice coach, Carol

Sunday, 1 February 2015

One week and counting ...

With just one week to go I have got most of the things done I need to get done.
The routines are written, the songs are learnt, more or less, and the graphics are all done.
I am just finishing off the very last new costume and it can all be packed away ready for transporting to the theatre.
On Monday I go into the venue to do an audio visual technical check; the projector has to be refocused, the screen has to be positioned and the computer has to be checked to make sure we have the leads and right software.
Then I have a week of intense rehearsals before a final singing lesson on Wednesday.
Saturday, the day of the show, we are having a full technical dress rehearsal at the venue along with my dresser, my computer operator and lighting engineer to ensure we all know where the cues are and to give me a chance for any last minute changes to the running times.
It is all a long way from my normal shows where I just turn up at a venue, stick the mini disk on and mime and patter my way to a crowd of horny women waiting for a couple of strippers to come on.
This is a proper theatrical experience which I am hoping will lead on to similar ventures.
Tickets still available on