Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Another good thing ....

I was working in Wolverhampton last week. Not the most salubrious of places but, in my experience, the type of place where I go down well.
A small but enthusiastic audience made us very welcome and we had a good time.
My evening was made when one of the girls, laughing hysterically at my jokes, admitted that she had just wet herself with laughing.


A good thing ....

On the subject of misconceptions ... again

This afternoon, the sun was shining and I, unusually, felt in need of some exercise so walked into town, a 35 minute stroll that takes me past the local cemetary.
As I walked along the boundary wall, some 12 feet high, I spotted a baby rabbit. Obviously having fallen from the top of the wall, it was desperately trying to find its way back and was dangerously straying close to the roadway.
I tried to catch it but, having one hand full, made no headway. My efforts chased it round the corner where a young scally-looking lad on a bike blocked its way. Between us we cornered it and he picked it up and deposited it back in the undergrowth of the grave yard with a huge grin.
His wasn't the only big grin. Everyone watching walked on with a soppy look on their faces.

Ain't life grand?

Bad Things ....

Time for another rant!!

Supermarket queues. Why is it that some women, usually stood in front of me, suddenly decide they have forgotten to put something in their basket/trolley and go wandering off round the store to find it leaving their basket/trolley in the queue? Why the hell can't they do what the rest of us do and write a list? Or if they have forgotten something take their trolley/basket with them to go get it? Damned inconsideration, that's why!! Grrrr

Motorway driving. We drag acts, more than most, have to endure hour upon hour each week swerving to avoid the appalling drivers that inhabit our roads. You would think that driving to and from gigs at odd hours we would avoid the worst. But, oh no, leaving home at 4/5/6pm we drive straight into the rush hour; all those frustrated guys (yeah, usually guys) trying to find a hole in the traffic to squeeze through in an effort to get home 5 minutes early. Then, late at night, when we are driving home in, one would have thought, relative solitude we have to be constantly alert for drunk drivers and those falling asleep at the wheel. You would expect that at least we could expect impeccable road manners from fellow professional drivers, HGV drivers. But no, in their own way they are the worst. The number of times I have had to follow 2 HGV's side by side for miles because they can't overtake each other. FFS they have their gearboxes restricted to 60 mph so how the hell can they expect to overtake each other? One section of the A14 has the right idea and during the hours of 8am-8pm they are not allowed to use the outside lane if over 7.5 tonnes. How sensible.

Right, rant over. Have a nice day!

Thursday, 3 May 2007

Sometimes it is a pleasure to go to work

So many times in this blog I have been complaining about all sorts; travel, venues, agents, audiences etc. This time, for once, I would love to praise an audience; OK, I shall have a word about the venue but ....

I got booked ages ago to do a Ladies Night in a Social Club nr Leeds. When I got there it was a huge, old-fashioned social club on three floors. Oh, oh, I thought, I am gonna have to lug all my stuff up to the top floor. They are always on the top floor. When I went in it was to find that the stage door (yes, they actually had a stage door) was round the back and on ground level.

Also, they had their own PA system .... not that it did me any good. They hadn't bothered to arrange for someone to operate it and, as it was opposite the stage, at the other end of the room, was of no use to me. Looking at the size of the room (capacity 200-300) I had serious doubts as to whether my PA System was powerful enough. However, once I was set up and tested it, it was ample. Fortunately the venue had a slow ceiling so the sound filled the room with ease.

Next to the stage, in the time-honoured way, were the dressing rooms; well, one dressing room, the other was full of stored stuff.

So, there we were, me and two strippers crammed into a room on the side of the stage.
At the appointed time we started the show. Now, I invariably judge an audience by how they respond to the music I play leading up to the show starting. If they sing along to stuff like 'I'm every woman' and 'Gimme, gimme, gimme' then I know it will be a good show.

This audience were singing along to everything I played.

Walking onstage for my first number I was overwhelmed by the response. A wall of applause, shouts and whistles greeted me and kept up for the entire evening.

Rarely have I played to such an appreciative and well-behaved crowd of girls. At the end of the night I said (and meant) that, as a southerner, I love travelling up north because I always have a good time. Once again the girls of Leeds confirmed that northern audiences are the best in the world.

Thank you girls for making it a pleasure to go to work.